"I Think They Call This 'Venting'"

In the past few weeks, I've been asked what I'm going to do next in my career. I was asked when I'm gonna have my first child. I've been asked when I'm going to get married to my girlfriend of almost 6 years. I've been asked if I'm going to open a business and if I am, when? I've been asked who my true friends are. I've been asked if I regret going to college and not the military as I had intended in high school. I've come to a realization that for the first time in a long time, I've got more questions than answers and I haven't had the time to step back and compose myself on what to do NEXT. I never anticipated how much I need to figure out in such a short period of time. Just when I think I've got space and time to myself; I end up feeling like I got all the eyes of the world on me with everyone asking themselves what my next move in life is going to be.

All this on top of making good on the promises I've made in my life. Getting to UConn, I made a promise to my family and myself that I'd do what it takes to progress out of everything we've seen and been through. I promised my girlfriend I'd give her the time, effort and patience the relationship deserves after so much time and energy spent on it. I promised my closest friends that college wouldn't change me, DC wouldn't change me, money wouldn't change me but after all that I've seen, learned and experienced after high school, would they blame me if I did? I'm confused on how to keep certain things about me intact while transforming parts of my whole mentality and personality. I promised my family the world and now I'm stuck wondering.. How do I give it to them?

I've come to realize that I've had wrong impressions of people; unfortunately, that's a good and bad thing..  I thought I knew people and I always considered myself a person with good judgmental ability of others. I've realized that there's really no such thing. People have surprised me in the past few months in ways I didn't imagine them doing. Some shocked me with their good sense of character and ability where I had to admit to myself that they were better people than I assumed. Others though, just couldn't have shocked me more with their inability to think, judge or even speak. Some of my closest friends unfortunately have showed me their true colors and while I won't just up and stop talking to them; it's a shame how you think you know one particular person so well. Maybe it's the distance, maybe it's the time of the year, maybe they're changing. Hell, maybe I'm changing...


I know I ain't the only person in the world who's sitting at the computer thinking to themselves, "Damn, life's passing me by".

Venting,
David